January 22, 2017
Class had ended early but I didn’t know what else to do with my time so I decided to hang around in the classroom for a little while longer despite already having packed up all my stuff. I scrolled through the options for lunch on my phone while I waited for the rest of the class to exit. “You really like to watch don’t you?” someone interrupted. Everyone else was busy chatting to the people next to them.
–
The parade was due to pass by soon. We had a plot to assassinate the newly elected Donald Trump. I was armed with a ricin tipped needle concealed inside of what seemed to be a yellow mechanical pencil. Out plan was to shoot the needle through the glass when the car passed by.
“Do you have the scope?” my mother asked. I had honestly forgot and hoped that we didn’t need it. As the beginning of the parade of cars drove across the street, my mother started to light the blinds on fire. “Everyone will see us if you do that!” I said. She reasoned that it was going to be hard enough to shoot through the glass without the visual obstruction but put out the fire anyways.
There was some commotion outside before a small group of people walked into the shop. I quickly folded up my setup while continuing to scan the street. I thought that I had seen his likeness but it turned out to be a doppelganger. “Woah, this is bad”, one of the uninvited guests said. A profile for my mother was pulled up on the computer screen: “quick to anger”. I wondered if her plan was to incriminate herself for my sake.
After the last of the cars had gone by without a trace of our target, we packed up and decided to drive up to the mountains to watch the sunset. Shortly after arriving however, we remembered that the president was scheduled to depart from a nearly residential area. We drove our bus into the suburbs before encountering another minibus. “That’s him alright”, I said after catching a glimpse of his face.
We started to chase his bus over the empty highway until he turned right into a parking lot. I pulled the trigger just as the window on the driver’s side aligned and struck him in the neck. After slowing down in the parking lot, he stood out of the vehicle to which I asked where his pregnant wife was. The first lady shortly appeared, to whom my mother swiftly injected another shot of the poison into.
We walked together to the restaurant where we were previously watching the sunset. “You know, this is the last place that we stopping before killing you”, I said. “I thought everyone owed me something”, he replied. His face was covered with growths of mold. “Sorry, I’m not an American”, I said.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-one, as of yesterday”
He was surprised by this fact, and further surprised that I was still a student and worked part-time under an African-American. He asked if I even had a driver’s license, and I did not. I told him that we chose a slow acting toxin so we could talk, and perhaps take a hike before his death.
“We’ve always joked about this”, I said “but how many people did you kill in the Battle of Bull Run?”
–
We were sitting in my high school lecture hall to watch some kind of chess-like tournament. Between the matches however, individuals from the audience would be called up to the front to give their own performances. During one of the intermissions, forms for finalizing our schedules were being handed out. “Are you sure [My Legal Name] is you?” the person asked, while withholding my form. It took nearly a minute before he reluctantly gave me my form.
I sat back down to see that someone dropped their green Mentos mint onto the aisle. They kept picking it up only to drop it again, getting more cracked each time it was dropped. “Hey Buddy, what are you doing?”
I turned my head around to the voice to see that they were talking to someone else. I had been expecting to see a dog instead when I heard the name.
– [This was… a strange night]