January 27, 2016

My dad was sitting up on his futon in the corner of the room and stared straight at the wall. He was convinced that his eyesight was going bad and kept complaining about it while facing away from us. My brother told him that he was imagining things and that he should take a rest. There was a CRT television on a small cabinet to the right of my father.

–

It was going to be a close game as the enemy team was making their last push through our defenses. I ran from the pack, shouting “4 spy. 4 spy.” to inform my team of the enemy composition. Apparently I had just blown my cover as a sleeper agent and rushed towards the railing to jump into the water. I had a rifle on my back. I stayed underwater for 6 hours while I saw bullets streaming by me, slowing down right in front of my eyes.

–I had just woken up and it was already 2 in the afternoon. I had missed my morning computer science class. In a panicked frenzy, I searched online as to what I could have missed.

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Someone had come up to our house needing a place to stay for the night. They had just been biking through the area and my parents were curious for I was letting an unknown woman into the house.

In the morning, my mother was showing my dad a music video where a short excerpt of Amazing Grace was played at the beginning of the video. “This is it!” my mom said excitedly, for it resembled the version that she was looking for. “That’s great. But the rest of the video isn’t even the same song” my dad responded. “I know” she conceded.

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There had been multiple bomb threats throughout the country while I was attending a friend’s wedding. We had graciously accepted the presence of the aliens* in our outdoor ceremony. They were just visiting and probably didn’t mean any harm. The best man didn’t want to be here and constantly tried to sneak away during the ceremony. Someone thought that in that case, we might as well give our presents first. He had handed him an unidentifiable object wrapped in red wrapping paper. “Let’s just open it now” he said while on stage. It only needed to be slightly ripped opened before I saw the circuit board and flashing lights within. Someone commented that it must be a of vibrator of some sort.

I asked him if he had wrapped it himself and he simply replied that he had the people on the planet do that for him. “Of course they do” I replied. “They [the aliens] want to fuck us up.” The entire venue was thrown into chaos as soon as someone had shouted there was a bomb and told everyone to “get the fuck out of here”.

– *Yes, they were literal, extraterrestrial aliens, not immigrants. That would be a little fucked up.