It was time to go home after a long trip and our driver asked me if I wanted to join the rest of the group for some noodles. I thought it would be awkward to dip out early so I came along despite the fact that my home was on the way to the restaurant. I ordered some chilled noodles for myself before taking a seat. I got a message from a friend saying that he finally understood how people can sit and watch YouTube videos all day. It made him “feel productive” he said.

I walked backstage and announced that I planned to ruin the show by exposing something one of the performers had said in the past. The performance wasn’t scheduled to start for a few more hours. I sat down in the unlit room and turned on the computer.

A family friend let us stay in their unoccupied holiday home while we were traveling abroad. I was headed out early in the morning to meet with a friend and it was still dark out. The keypad to enable their security system was on the other side of a small footpath. The passcode was supposed to be 123# but I somehow kept missing the input. I started to doubt my memory and wondered if I actually needed to enable the alarms. The area seemed safe enough anyways.

I walked through the cafeteria and spotted my friend sitting at a table with who I assumed to be his younger brother. The two of them were wearing suits and seemed to be talking about something serious so I didn’t interrupt them.

I received a text message from my future self warning me that today was going to be the worst day of my life.

I picked up a large bag of crushed up cereal which I was ready to throw out. For some reason this was a controversial decision.

A friend was showing me a pink plastic flip phone that was meant to be a toy for kids. Audio would play out of the tinny speakers whenever any of the keys were pressed. We were both amused and dismayed at the fact that the toy would refuse to operate if it was not connected to the internet.

I was sitting on the bus with a friend as we headed to her new place. She took a photo of a couple of strangers outside the window and asked me if she should post it to her Instagram or Discord server. I picked her Instagram. “Okay whatever you say,” she said.

I was at work when I received an email informing me that I had been charged for the possession of obscene materials and had to report to the nearest correctional facility. I felt a gnawing at my heart as I made my way to the facility somewhere in the middle of the tropical forest. There was an “elevator” that was as deep as a single body and needed one to hold onto a metal grate to ride. I scrolled through /mjg/ and read some posts that were making light of my predicament. Fortunately we were still able to use our devices here, granted that we could only charge them in the daytime while the facility’s solar panels were operational.

We were about to leave the supermarket when we were stopped by someone conducting a survey. He showed me a piece of paper with connect-the-dot images for a cartoon wedge of cheese, broccoli, and a carrot. Underneath each image was a label with scrambled letters. And beneath that were a few basic questions about vegetables that we had to answer in pencil. Somehow I kept starting with the wrong letter and misspelling everything. I suspected it this was a part of the experimental design. The experience made me feel old.